moments of doubt
by la rose de versailles
Summary: even he had moments of doubt, it seemed. touko x n.


**moments of doubt**

even he had his moments of doubt, it seemed. touko x n.

**by la rose de ****versailles**

He only watched her quietly, fingers curling together in a tight fist.

It was getting harder to breathe, the longer he stared at her. He was waiting for her to make the first move. She always did. She had always been the one ready to take him down. Was she scared? Was she scared of him? That wasn't what he wanted her to feel about him. Shouldn't she have been proud of him? Shouldn't she have been proud? He was doing something good. He wasn't doing anything bad. True, he had demanded for his underlings to snatch Pokémon away from their trainers. But it was with good intentions. It wasn't bad. Was it?

Damn her. Damn her. She made him doubt everything that he knew. Was what he doing right? Was what she was doing right? Was stealing Pokémon away from other people the right thing? Was it worth hurting other people? Was it worth hurting her? She only stared back at him, blue eyes void of emotion. He could recall such memories of her smiling at him, holding onto him and never wanting to let go.

Her eyes would always linger on him when she thought he wasn't looking.

His heart would always beat a little faster when she would be too close to him. He could remember her eyes, bright and excited. N. That was the only name she knew to call him by. Touko. That was the only name that he knew to call her by. She drew a pokeball out then, pressing the small button on the center. The spherical device opened up, a waterfall of light spilling forth and the white dragon taking its place. Reshiram shifted in his position, only staring forward with the same empty, blue eyes as his hero.

He drew one out as well, releasing the black dragon. Zekrom only stared back at Reshiram. Touko only shouted a command and the Pokémon began to fight. Tears threatened to spill at the edges of her eyes. She was going to cry. He was making her cry. The king of Team Plasma only bit his lip, holding back all the words of comfort he wanted to say to her. He wanted to hold her close, brush her beautiful brown hair down, and whisper words of comfort to her until she finally stopped. But he couldn't do that anymore, could he?

He had lost that chance once he had told her that he was the king. The freaking lord of them all.

It shouldn't have bothered him so much. It shouldn't have bothered him. One by one, her Pokémon fell. And his remained, intact and unhurt. Enemies were supposed to lie to each other. He was supposed to hurt her, yes. That was what he was supposed to do. As her last Pokémon fell, she did too. All the words of hate spilled out from her mouth as she banged her fists on the floor, tears falling one by one. "Damn you, N! I hate you!" She shouted.

Why did it hurt when she said that?

"Why did you do that to me!" It didn't even sound like a question. "Why, why, why?" She shouted, going into hysterics. "You're a stupid, stupid girl." He answered half heartedly, grinning a half-moon smile. She looked up at him, anger filling her to the brim. He would rather see her angry because of him; instead of seeing her crying because of him. "You really thought I even gave a damn about you?" She didn't answer. "You were just useful." He grinned wickedly. She got up then shakily, lunging forward to try and hurt him. The guards held her back, dragging her off to the dungeon of his castle.

N turned then, looking to his father and only stared back. "Good job, King N." The green-haired man did not answer, only taking a seat on the throne that had been created especially for him. It did not feel nearly as gratifying as it had been earlier. He set his cap down, touching it gently and only listing to his father half heartedly. That Touko. He only could smile softly. She tried so hard for something that she felt was right. But she had lost anyway. Obviously, his resolve had been far greater than hers.

He let the hat that she had given him fall to the floor. And with that, the grand doors closed, leaving N in the throne room enraptured by the memories of his white queen. Even he had his moments of doubt, it seemed.

**Author's Note; **This is my first Pokemon fanfiction, like. Ever. Haha. So it fails super hard, I understand. I've just been obsessed with Pokemon Black since I got it and well. N and Touko don't have nearly as enough fanfics as they should, so I decided to write one. Since Touko is also called White, I used white a couple of times and maybe you caught them. Haha. Please review. It doesn't have to be all good, but not super bad either hopefully. Thank you!


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